Reposting from http://www.imago.multiply.com
If love were for sale, would you buy it and for how much?
Lifetime vs. Three Hours
I recently had an encounter with someone who thought that happiness can be found by taking on little pill worth a thousand plus pesos. For roughly two months, I believed that his person can love me, that I was enough to make him happy. However, he wanted heaven. He wanted it so much he was more than willing to let me go, break my heart and step on it. He wanted three hours of heaven in exchange for a promise, a hope of a lifetime together. I was foolish enough to think that my love can suffice. That my love can give him what he wanted what he needed. But, he wanted heaven --three hours of it to be exact.
“I love you! I hope you know that.”
“I know and I love you too”
“But I guess not as much as ‘that’ right?
“Yeah!”
He could have been kind enough to deny it. He could have said “No!” He could have cared enough not to answer. But he did not. He answered in such a cold voice. I heard my heart break. Instantly. It broke like a wooden stick, right smack at the middle. SNAP! It echoed throughout my body. I was shaking and tears immediately came rolling down my cheeks. I have heard bad break-up lines but this one’s for the books.
It was suppose to be our day together. A day we promised to spend together because it was almost our second month. I woke up and saw my mobile phone completely drained. I stood up and grabbed the charger. I turned on my phone and saw his message. He said he needed to go to his friends’ place because they want to talk. I called him. He picked up my call and I heard ‘house music’ loudly playing on the background. My initial thought was that they were drinking. He said he was going to finish in a few hours. It was 12 noon when I received his SmS and it was now four in the afternoon. Unless it was a discussion on political history and the Cold War, I highly doubted that all they were doing was talk. I knew he was lying but I did not pursue. An hour later, I called him again.
“I don’t understand. Why do you need to be there and talk for more than 5
hours? This was our day together. We were going to celebrate, remember?”
He did not answer. He could not answer.
“Did you drop? Tell me honestly. Did you drop?”
“Yes, I did!”
For a moment, I was speechless. Then I started asking questions for which I already knew the answers. It was then I realised that he did not love me as much as I had hoped, as much as I deserved. It was that afternoon I ended it.
Two Weeks, Too Soon
I got back from Kenya two weeks later and heard they got back together (unofficially). It did not really come as a surprise as I already heard rumors about it. Somehow, I knew it was bound to happen eventually. However, I did not expect it to be sooner rather than later.
“Do you believe in 2nd chances?”
“No. But I guess it really depends. If after sometime I still love him or he still loves me”
“Ah, so you do naman pala eh.”
“Yeah, I guess…”
Perhaps it is not meant to be. Perhaps I was even deceived all along. But whatever the reason was, it didn’t really matter anymore. There was nothing left to do but wish them well and move on. His heart never really belonged to me after all. It belonged to someone he considered his friend, his lover and maybe even his soul mate. My friends said I was better off without him but part of me refused to believe that at first. Then, I must. Therefore, I did.
If heaven can be found on a pill and love can be bought, would you buy it?
“I’d rather fall in love and go through hell to someday know what forever in heaven feels like with someone.”
Whenever.
Wherever.
WhatEVERRR!
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